© Annaliese Koltermann Life Coaching + Bodywork

The Pathways to 'next'

July 12, 2017

Therapists and coaches are ambassadors for awakening.  Healers of past present and future ‘suffering’.  We are the hearts, and voices of the healing world.  We see you, we hear you, and we want to support you.  The way that we work is similar; it has a central frequency: Love.  

 

What is the difference between traditional therapy and coaching?

How do you know when you are ‘right’ for therapy or coaching (at any given time)?

How do you find the ‘right’ person to work with?

 

The power of coaching and therapy lies in the majesty of open awareness as human presence.  

 

It’s the feeling of being supported by a surround sound mountain of presence.  The person is breathing with you, and they witness you.  In a space that you feel safe to be just as you are: there is only acceptance, and allowing.  Everything can be OK in this space rather than the energy of fixing, altering, trying to take anything away from you, or even resolving.  There is just a sense of unconditional - ‘I am just so here with you now.’  When a person has this gift of presence it can be tremendously transformational for MOVING through whatever the receiver is ready to move through.  

 

The times I’ve had transformational experiences in Therapy have been in the moments where I am simply being seen.  Witnessed in my pain, in my humanity, met with eyes wide open and a kind and compassionate heart.  Some of my biggest awakenings have been through the reflection of beauty and perfection that I saw through my therapist's eyes.  I’ve found it incredibly life changing to completely fall apart and be witnessed, guided, and seen through it.  Tremendous shifts can be made when our nervous system understands through practice that it’s OK to feel anger, broken inside, and be with the darkest of thoughts and emotions.  Being met this way trains the nervous system to relax within the falling apart.  Making it human and beautiful to breakdown and breakthrough.  

 

You might ask - what’s the difference between that and a friend listening to me?

Often - not always - when we turn things over with our friends; rather than being the rock, listener, and witness; things can get weird.

 

‘Support’ from a friend often (not always) turns into a pity party where we feel ‘bad’ for each other, give unsolicited advice, try to fix and take away the experience from the individual making it about themselves.  In that game we become SO validated and ‘justified’ in our feelings that we cling onto them and marry ourselves to them so they never shift into something that may work better for us.  When we hold onto something rather than processing it and moving on - we become stuck in our lives. Or - we push away what is really true and leave experiences unprocessed; only to come up again later.  

 

The type of support that makes deep, transformational shifts in the whole being - start with transparent, loving presence.  That unconditional mirror where you can say, be, feel, anything at all - and it is always OK.  Even when the feeling is that it’s not.

 

Coaching is this unconditional presence, allowing all parts of you to show up to the session - AND it’s about getting real.  In coaching we are orienting to presence (what’s happening in the present moment) and choosing how to work with it.  My living Meditation Coaching program is an intuitive balance between next level awareness and empowered action.  There is a do-er involved in personal development; this is the part of you that is showing up to DO something about what you want or what wants to shift.  Presence and safety + empowered action and taking the leadership role in your life = breaking through what’s in your way of being fully alive.

 

Coaching tends to be action focused, and intention or empowered goal oriented whereas traditional therapy is tends to be focused on unwinding past trauma.  People common to working with coaches are people who are ready to put in the work it takes to get to where they want to go (or think they want to go).  Working with a coach means being seriously open to feedback, and willing to do experiments to clear their path to who and what they are becoming.  The technology lies in taking the reigns of your own life, putting the energy into really learning  yourself.  When we do that with a mirror of guidance and leadership - we move through the ‘impossible’ to the stuff of our dreams.

 

A traditional therapeutic relationship is client led, based on talking, and psychology.  The coaching relationship is intuitive, based on embodiment, and energetics.   

 

How do you know when one is ‘right’ for you at the ‘right’ time.  When I am working with a lot of heavy emotional processing, when I am FEELING all the things, if I am feeling out of control with what I feel and need a guide to understand myself - I turn to therapy.  That isn’t to say that I don’t bring those things to coaching as well.  All is welcome in coaching.  But if I’m feeling that I want to do some life design work, I’m ready to uplevel personally and professionally, when I am ready to accept fiercely loving support, feedback, and accountability - I turn to coaching.

 

There is a completeness to the support I’ve experienced being a coaching client, and coach.  (working with the whole being) And there is a sweetness and empathetic tone that is common in most therapy.  There is nothing like the unadulterated loving presence of a good therapist.  Both are tremendous - and I say - if you’re working with good, wholehearted support - it will be a no question sense that your vibration is rising!

 

Most coaches offer free consultations so you can get to know them before you enroll in a program or package.  Most therapists take insurance.  The investment is usually similar unless you are working with someone more experienced or they offer curriculum or other additions.  

 

After working with many different ambassadors for healing for many years - I have a very dependable internal compass which tells me what I need and WHO.  When I first started working with people to support me - it wasn’t always a 100% fit which meant I didn’t fully trust them, or didn’t feel like I could really let it rip and be myself.  Now that I’m an experienced client - all I need is 15 minutes with someone to sense if I can trust them, be myself, and lean into their support.  

 

Wait for the resonance.  You are worth a 100% match in your process.  At the same time - if you’ve met with 10 different therapists or coaches and you don’t know who or what to choose - just freakin pick one! :)

 

When you’re choosing someone to work with; remember you are making an investment in YOU.  You are spending money, energy, time, and heart in your journey.  Resonance matters.  It will make the difference between having an ok time feeling maybe a little better and feeling completely transformed.

 

There is no one mountain top! Different paths to different mountains!

 

But remember - YOU are ALWAYS on your path.

 

 

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