Earlier this season I found myself feeling like a total scrooge! I was totally caught up in judgment, criticism and resistance with the holidays, tradition, and 'obligation'. I felt completely justified to share my opinions and certain attitudes about the way I saw things with anyone who would listen.
My brain tends to hang out in the negative; picking out things I don't resonate with or am not happy with. This happens without my permission! This is a really common pattern; internally judging things that feel outside of ourselves, and denying that we have any part in it.
Can you relate?
This. Is. Human. So we're not going to make it 'wrong'. This perspective simply isn't including the whole picture.
In my highest, most true state; I can see that what I'm choosing to look at 'externally' is actually an aspect of me. I am the Universe. The Universe is me. Everything out there; I have inside of me. Everything I see inside of me; I can find out there. This is a deeper conversation of the illusion of separation... but here we are. There is no separation between who I think I am and what I see 'outside of myself.'
We see what we want to see + what the Universe wants us to see. And those things aren't always the same. The 'us' or 'I' here is our small, compressed self - or ego.
When I embody some of that perspective and I realize I'm in judgment about what I'm experiencing or seeing 'out there', It's clear that there's a reflection of MYSELF that I don't like. Or what is being reflected to me is something I need to look at. (that we don't usually want to see).
Nothing is wrong 'out there'. There's nothing to judge about what I'm experiencing.
This mirrored reflection gives me the opportunity to look at the ROOT of my attitude. I get to see that what I'm bent out of shape about is partially something I can do something about and partially something I can't - and if I want to feel free I 'should' find a way to be okay with.
It's seeing that there is a part of me that is ready to be heard, brought up, and released. And the rest... I find a way to let go of what I'm holding so tightly onto.
The mirroring is a portal into who I am beyond my judgments and criticisms. AND it's a pathway (if I choose to take it) from small self, compressed, and bound to expanded self, open, and free.
Every time I'm caught and aware... and when I can let myself SEE what I'm perpetuating without judging myself... I can soften my way out of being caught.
Doesn't that sound nice?
Awareness leads to compassion, compassion grows into love and leads to insight, and insight leads to more awareness, and new perspective.
Below is my breakdown to this mindset shift. You can use this for literally anything!
1) Find yourself, decide what you want, and make a choice.
Pause. Where are you? Who are you being? Do you like this reality? Do you want this reality? Do you want more of what you're experiencing or less? What do you actually want to be experiencing? Let yourself dream up what you truly want to feel. Let's say it's Joy. Great. Write it down.
The tipping point for me was realizing I was spreading negativity rather than Joy. When I took a closer look at the impact I was having; I decided I could afford to shed some layers of my ego and drop my attitude. Connecting to others and experiencing a brighter reality was too important to stick to my metaphorical guns and side with my ego any longer. Makes the choice easier when you zoom out!
Side note: it's super important to do this without any judgment about yourself. Practice Unconditional Presence HERE and HERE
2) Give yourself permission to take it IN.
Because you ARE the Universe and all it's magics and powers... you have the capacity to feel and experience ANYTHING. You can choose to fill yourself up with anything you want. Practice right now. Choose to fill yourself up with hate. You're in a pool of hate, drink it in, breathe it in. Now notice what you feel. Now choose to fill yourself with the quality you're wanting. Let's say it's Joy again. Call Joy into your body. Call Joy into every cell. Breathe Joy in and let it swarm your whole being. Think joy, and let it overcome you. You're steeped in a universe of Joy. You are Joy. Now feel yourself. Notice what's there.
You will become what you consciously embody. Believe it and take in what you truly want!
3) Enjoy! Relish it! And Keep coming back.
Give yourself permission to really, truly bask in the joy. Bask in the Beauty. Swim in the love. As you grow your ability to feel and own high vibrational frequencies - you grow your capacity to hold them, expand them, and share them! You will attract the vibration you are hanging out in. You have a responsibility to share what you want to experience in this world. Let that light shine.
There will always be triggers, people, places, and things that rub you the wrong way. Keep forgiving yourself, coming back to owning your attitude, and change what you can change.
4) Truly let go of what you 'can't change'.
If you truly choose your reality and embody it - letting go of the rest becomes easy. There's no use holding onto or focusing on what you think sucks in this world. Take responsibility for yourself, and let the rest roll away.
To my surprise and delight - what I found after this reframe was this:
I was actually dropping into the most dazzling, gratitude filled, high vibrational spirits ever!
I was able to drop the attitude and judgment that kept me seeing only what I didn't like and invite the attitude and direct experience of EMBODIED CELEBRATION.
Celebrating what I have, who and what I've grown into being, what I'm learning, the personal and relational successes in my life, the choices that set my SOUL free, and the most divine and meaningful moments of my life.
When my focus is on what is going well, what I love, what impact I want to have, what I'm inviting into my heart; ultimately that will be more of what I experience and what I end up sharing with others.
These 'holidays' and my broken traditions, past disappointments - I can let them go - because I've created a whole next level of celebration. I've owned my relationship with this season and with holidays because I chose to. I gave myself permission to embody what I chose, and I'm riding that wave. I have to keep coming back to the wave - but it's there every time I'm willing enough to jump on.
Letting go of my postures about holidays and tradition gave me my aliveness back! It stopped mattering what everyone else was doing or believing - and it mattered most that I created my own experience and opened to feeling amazing!
There are always things to point out that may be not so shiny. There are lots of opportunities to be a grump. But is that adding to your life on planet earth - or taking away?
May you and all beings shine light on what you want illuminated.
May you and all beings celebrate your whole self... every part.
And May you and all beings allow yourself to be filled with the magic that is simply being alive.
May your Soul and all Souls sing the song of freedom throughout your life.